The infinite edge

 Every day is an unexpected storm which either leaves behind rags and spoil or riches.

The need for some goal in my life was still missing as obsession only drives you only till a certain point after which its one's discipline that has the steering wheel. So now I was experimenting different gigs to adopt a skill or move one step to having a goal. The only obstacle I had to face everyday was myself and one of the things that would disrupt my process would be that great BUT.

This is when I started making digital designs and creatives because I loved creating the colourful and majestic looking posters with my own imagination and innovation. I watched videos, I practiced the styles, colours and methods that would make my creative the best one. I made original marketing creatives and designs on canva, it was almost over 4 months when I thinking about putting it to practical use. BUT (Yes, I know its too early but here it is, the great iron wall to cause self- destruction) now that I had learnt a bit basics, I felt inconsistency seep into my work. I was avoiding my ideas and slowly yet steadily I stopped.

Another storm, another failure, Alas there was another experiment. The habit of reading books now and then was something that I had adored about myself because it led me towards something, I wasn't aware but it felt like I was evolving. The evolving illusion kept me busy in some or the other work, like the board projects, like the school examinations, birthdays, more examinations, even more projects. I started realizing all this when I was bored of the stuff I loved, like can you imagine getting bored of our favorite cousin or bored of mangoes ? To avoid wasting my free days I started making paper crafts as I recalled my love for weapons. It was a distinct skill that I learnt from elder building friends which, for now gave me something to engage myself with. I made prototypes for a week or two and then planned on making the weapons from anime, movies and cartoons. The planning and consistency challenged me, the structure and finishing of each project exited me and surprisingly there isn't a BUT. I even made some gift weapons for my friends and family. However I lacked ideas so I took a break, something that one shouldn't take while climbing a slippery slope which in this case was the hill to finding my passion.

As I said, it was a slippery slope and as soon as I stopped, I fell and there appeared the illusion. But now it was less dense which made me believe that I was heading to the right summit so I started again, drawing prototypes for weapons, making my creative instinct sharper and..... I stopped. AGAIN , I fell AGAIN. This time I had some improvements up my sleeve, I started following a routine of workout, I began shinning one of my other skills of public speaking to perfection and moved ahead.

But, there were other things that I was supposed and now they began pulling me down and 10th's first examinations was 3 weeks away. 3 weeks??

The bigger question was..... 

What's the next storm gonna leave behind?